


No Shirts, No Shoes

by Augment



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, i am jack’s postmodern ennui, intertextuality, i’ve watched fight club at least nine times that can’t be healthy, listen if i don’t fill my pretentious quota they take away my card, meta-reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:45:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augment/pseuds/Augment
Summary: Self care is starting a fight club behind a 7-Eleven.(Modern AU. After a career’s day at school, Luffy has an existential crisis.)





	No Shirts, No Shoes

**Author's Note:**

> One Piece modern AU, a study on why I can’t write One Piece modern AUs. Also a general complaint about being an adult. And hence, it does not actually go anywhere.  
> I’m going with pre-timeskip ages, but it doesn’t really matter. Feel free to mentally adjust for the drinking age of your respective country.

“Afternoon, Sanji!” Nami calls out, as she enters the _All Blue_ café and restaurant. A subdued Luffy trails in behind her.

“Nami!” Sanji bursts out from the kitchen. “As always, your delightful face brings sunshine and happiness into this desolate wasteland where, on a Friday afternoon, I find myself surrounded by shitty cooks.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nami smiles. She and Luffy seat themselves at the bar counter, schoolbags thumping to the floor.

“What can I get you?”

“Hmm, how about two chocolate milkshakes?”

“ _Certainement, ma chérie_.” Sanji bows theatrically, and pirouettes into the kitchen.

He returns a short while later with two chocolate milkshakes in tall glasses, equipped with straws and whipped cream. The one he places delicately in front of Nami has two extra cherries than the one he thumps down in front of Luffy.

Uncharacteristically, Luffy doesn’t immediately dive for his glass, but instead remains staring ahead, preoccupied.

Sanji flicks his dishcloth over one shoulder. “What’s wrong with him?” he asks Nami, jerking his head towards Luffy.

Nami, taking a sip of the milkshake, huffs a laugh around her straw. “We had a careers day at school. You know, with those stupid aptitude tests.” Nami puts on a mocking voice: “‘What kind of dining set defines you as a person?’” She snorts. “That sort of crap. Anyway, now Luffy’s all confused.”

“Hey Sanji,” Luffy says suddenly, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“First of all, I’m already ‘grown up’, the manliest of men,” says Sanji, preening at Nami, who rolls her eyes. “Secondly, I’ve always wanted to be cook, dumbass. You may have heard me mention it a few times.”

“Oh yeah,” Luffy says morosely, resting his chin on the counter. “Because of your dad.”

“That shitty old man has nothing to do with it,” Sanji blusters. “He just happens to be somewhat decent at cooking.”

“It’s okay, Sanji,” Nami says, smiling. “We won’t tell Zeff how much you love him.”

“I don’t- that’s not-” Sanji splutters, embarrassed. Then, abruptly changing the subject: “What about you, my dove? What careers path will be blessed with your outstanding competence?”

“Either accountant or meteorologist,” Nami says with confidence. “I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’m leaning towards accountant.”

“But that’s so boring!” Luffy whines, blowing bubbles into his milkshake through the straw.

“Not to _me_ ,” Nami says, whacking Luffy on his upper arm. “Besides, it’s practical. Accountants are always in demand, and they can be paid really well. There aren’t an enormous number of meteorologist jobs, and _nobody_ wants a map-maker.”

Luffy makes a frustrated noise and lays his head on the counter again. He tries to keep drinking his milkshake by first angling the straw down, and then tilting the glass dangerously horizontal. Seeing this, Sanji grabs the glass away from him.

“Do you have _any_ idea what you want to be?” Nami asks, as Luffy leans over the counter and tries to get his glass back from Sanji, who simply holds it at arm’s length above his head.

“Made of rubber,” Luffy gripes, as he swipes ineffectively at the taller Sanji.

“I meant as a job,” Nami says, giving Sanji a look. Sanji relents, and returns the milkshake to Luffy.

Luffy triumphantly takes a large swig, bypassing the straw, then burps. “I wanna be a pirate.”

“You can’t be a pirate,” Sanji says.

“I wanna be a pirate,” Luffy repeats. “The best pirate. King of the pirates. The Pirate King.”

“Alright Kronk, calm down.”

“Maybe Usopp will have some ideas,” Nami says, stretching in her seat. “You finished your shift, Sanji?”

“I have now,” Sanji says, taking off his apron. He kicks the kitchen door open and yells into the interior, “I’m off! Try not to poison anyone while I’m gone!”

A plate comes whistling through the door, but Sanji manages to catch it before it smashes against his face.

“You’re getting soft, old man!” Sanji yells, as he hustles a smiling Luffy and Nami out of the restaurant.

 

* * *

 

As they leave, Luffy runs – literally – into Zoro, face thumping against the older boy’s chest as they both come to an abrupt stop.

“Zoro!” Luffy says with delight, once he backs up a little. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“What?”

“We’re going to Usopp’s,” Nami says. “Want to come along?”

“Sure,” Zoro shrugs. “I’m finished for today.” He shoulders his gym bag, and joins the party as they set off down the street to Usopp’s house.

“So?” Luffy demands impatiently.

“So… what?” Zoro asks, confused.

“What do you want to do for a living, dumbass?” Sanji interjects.

Zoro bristles at Sanji’s tone. “Why? So you can pretend like you’re interested?”

“No, so you can help Luffy decide, asshole,” Sanji says, poking Zoro in the shoulder.

“Fuck you,” Zoro says easily. Then, to Luffy: “I dunno, man. Nothing seems right, you know?”

Luffy blows out a large breath. “Yeah, I know.”

“What about your foster dad, Zoro?” Nami asks. “You work at his dojo, right?”

Zoro shrugs. “Teaching kids the basics, mostly. Sometimes it’s fun but it gets kind of boring.”

“You qualified for state championships, though. That’s a pretty cool career path, isn’t it Luffy? You said you enjoyed boxing.” Nami says, going for encouraging. “And I bet when you win it’s an awesome feeling.”

Luffy doesn’t look too convinced, and unhelpfully, neither does Zoro.

“Winning is… nice,” Zoro agrees, but his tone is distinctly lukewarm.

Luffy snorts. “Except there’s no point,” he says.

“Luffy!” Nami exclaims. It’s out of character for Luffy to do anything other than wholeheartedly support his friends. Nami’s beginning to suspect this problem is deeper than end-of-high-school indecision. She exchanges a glance with Sanji, and raises a meaningful eyebrow.

Sanji coughs awkwardly. “Luffy, look, even I can admit that the marimo is… passably… good, I guess, at what he does,” the cook manages to get out, the admission clearly costing him some effort. “If you’re smart about it, you can get really far-”

“Yeah, no, Luffy’s right,” Zoro interrupts. “There’s no real point to winning. There’s no _risk_.”

Both Nami and Sanji look blank.

Luffy barks a short laugh, and grins at Zoro, more bared teeth than real amusement. Zoro looks away, but bumps shoulders with Luffy as they walk. Luffy bumps back. Zoro smiles too, sidelong, more of a smirk.

Nami senses that there’s somehow a conversation going on without her. Sanji seems to feel the same, as he’s suddenly in front of Zoro, leg out, trying to trip him. Zoro doesn’t actually trip, but he stumbles, a little too slow at clearing Sanji’s leg. Zoro shoves Sanji’s shoulder, scowling now. Sanji childishly sticks his tongue out, which draws a genuine laugh from Luffy.

Nami’s glad to hear it, but she still doesn’t understand.

“What do you mean, ‘risk’?” she asks.

Zoro deliberately crosses to the other side of the pavement, furthest from Sanji, before answering.

“I dunno, it’s like… if you lose, nothing happens. I mean, it can be a good fight or a bad one. There’s _skill_ , and if you get the right opponent, for a second it can feel, fuck-” Zoro breaks off, struggling to find the best words. “ _Right_ , somehow? But then it’s over and I always kind of feel like… that’s it? That’s all I get?”

Sanji squints at Zoro from across Luffy and Nami. “You’re fucking weird, you know that right?”

Zoro ignores him. “Maybe I should find an underground fight club,” he muses.

Luffy, who had been scuffing his sandals as he walked, suddenly jumps as though he’s been electrocuted.

“Zoro! That’s a brilliant idea!” he says, eyes shining. He turns to his friends, starting to walk backward. “I can punch things _properly_ , and Zoro can use his real swords, and- hell, it’d be- !!” Luffy loses coherency in his excitement, waving his arms.

“No,” Nami says sternly, pointing her finger at Luffy. “Absolutely not, _real swords_ , are you crazy? You punch someone the wrong way and you could actually kill them, you know that right? _One_ punch, Luffy. Sanji, come on, back me up here.”

“You can’t start a fight club,” Sanji says, face stern, though he sounds faintly amused. “Because it is a) stupid and b) illegal.”

“Aw, don’t be like that,” Luffy says. His excitement has faded a little in the face of his friends’ pragmatism. “We’ll let you both join, won’t we Zoro?”

Sanji and Nami explode with “Like hell I’d want to!” and “That’s not the point!”, and then Luffy, still walking backwards, trips over a fire hydrant and ends up sprawled inelegantly on the ground.

“ _No fight club_ ,” Nami says pointedly, as she steps over Luffy’s prone body, and carries on walking.

“Never having been in a real fight is a good thing, Luffy,” Sanji adds, following Nami’s suit.

Zoro stops and helps Luffy to his feet. “Come on, maybe Usopp has some better ideas.”

 

* * *

 

They arrive at Usopp’s house, and Luffy has barely bounded up the porch stairs when Usopp yells from inside: “It’s open!”

Usopp’s playing Super Smash Bros on the couch when they walk in, and Luffy immediately grabs the second controller and flops down next to him.

“Where’s your mum?” Sanji asks.

Usopp shrugs, eyes on the television. “Working late. She picked up some extra shifts.”

Sanji wrinkles his nose. “What’re you having for dinner?”

“Toast, probably. Maybe McDonalds if she’s not too tired to pick it up.” There’s a squawk of outrage from Luffy as Usopp chucks his character off a platform.

“I’ll make a hotpot,” Sanji declares. “You can freeze the leftovers for later in the week. Zoro, you’re good with knives, help me chop.”

“They’re not _knives_ ,” grumbles Zoro, and he and Sanji fall into familiar bickering as they enter the kitchen.

“I’ll help, too,” Nami says, following them with a smile on her face.

Three minutes later Usopp is crowing and Luffy is pouting, Usopp the clear winner of the match.

“You cheated!” Luffy says indignantly, as Usopp pushes his smug face into Luffy’s space.

“It’s not my fault you joined halfway through. I was already kicking ass,” Usopp preens.

“I want a rematch.”

“Well too bad, I want to play Tomb Raider and this is my house.”

“Is it co-op?”

“It is if we take turns.”

Luffy grins at Usopp, and Usopp grins back. He loads up a save file somewhere halfway through the campaign and starts playing.

After a few minutes of watching Usopp utterly fail at videogame parkour, Luffy asks his question of the day: “What do you wanna be when you grow up?”

“Leader of a thousand men,” Usopp says flippantly. Then: “Get up on the ledge, goddamn Lara!”

“No, I mean for real.”

Usopp looks sidelong at Luffy. “I don’t know. Something stable, I guess. So Mum doesn’t have to spend all her time working.”

He plays for a bit longer, and reaches a checkpoint. Usopp tosses the controller to Luffy, who resumes the game.

“Don’t you wanna be an adventurer?” Luffy says, tongue sticking out as he concentrates, Lara drawing back her bow.

“Yeah, ‘cause someone’s going to pay me to do that,” Usopp says sarcastically. “We’re not kids anymore, Luffy. Anyway, you know me. If I go into a jungle I’m going to find malaria, not treasure-filled temples.”

“Usopp,” Luffy puts down the controller and stares Usopp dead in the eyes. “Don’t be boring.”

Usopp reaches behind him, picks up a couch cushion, and then starts whacking Luffy with it repeatedly. “It’s not boring, it’s sensible!”

“That’s the same thing!” Luffy objects. He manages to wrestle the cushion out of Usopp’s hands. “And you didn’t even give me a proper answer!”

“Well, I don’t know!” Usopp says defensively. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was tell stories! I thought maybe I could write and illustrate children’s books-”

“Then do that!” Luffy says, punctuating his point by hitting Usopp on the side with the stolen cushion.

“No one’s gonna pay me to do it!” Usopp says, grabbing the cushion out of Luffy’s hands and throwing it into a corner of the room. “I have my mother to think of, you know. I can’t be a starving artist for fifteen years until some publisher takes pity on me.”

Luffy scowls at him, mouth turned down.

Usopp avoids his eyes, picking up the discarded controller and fiddling with it. “Anyway, if I have a normal nine-to-five then I can write and draw in my spare time. I’ll have adventures through my stories, and share them with people like that.”

“Lame!” declares Luffy, annoyed, and grabs the controller out of Usopp’s hands, resuming the game with aggressive button mashing.

Usopp watches Luffy blow through a camp and utterly ruin Lara’s reputation for stealth.

“Hey, Luffy,” Usopp says, after a while.

“What.”

“If you wake up at a different time and in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?”

 

* * *

 

Saturdays is when they usually visit Robin and Franky, since the adults both work the rest of the week.

Except both Sanji and Zoro text Luffy in the morning, begging off of their usual outing. Zoro, because he’s pulled weekend classes – much to his annoyance – and Sanji, because he’s picked up extra shifts in a not-so-subtle attempt to make Zeff take some time off. And when Usopp and Luffy arrive at Nami’s apartment, they barely catch her and her sister on their way out. Nami apologises, but Nojiko’s working on Sunday, and this is the only time this week they have to visit their mother’s grave.

So it’s only Usopp and Luffy setting off to the shipyard on a pleasant Saturday morning.

Franky lives with his brother in an apartment over the _Galley-La_ offices, but Usopp and Luffy find him at the docks getting in some last minute work on the company’s latest project, a small but well-appointed yacht. Franky hails his two young friends as they approach along the walkway, then returns to tying complicated knots in the yacht’s sailing ropes.

When they reach the boat, Luffy gleefully leaps on board, ignoring Usopp’s yelped objection. Usopp, who is respectful of other people’s workplaces, stays on the walkway.

“Hey, Franky! How did you know you wanted to be a shipwright?” Luffy asks without preamble.

“Not this again!” Usopp yells.

Franky ties one last knot, and admires his work for a moment. Then he waves his hands in a shooing motion. “Off the boat, Luffy,” he chides in a friendly manner.

Luffy, eager to get an answer to his question, obliges, and Franky climbs down after him.

“Hello, Usopp,” Franky greets with a smile.

“Hey, Franky. All finished?”

“Yeah, gimme me a minute to clean up.”

Luffy hops from one foot to another impatiently while Franky washes his hands and bids goodbye to his brother.

“Well?” Luffy demands, as soon as they’re out the door. “You didn’t answer my question. Why a shipwright?”

Franky makes a humming noise, as they start walking to the café where they plan to meet Robin and Chopper. He tilts his head thoughtfully, his dyed blue hair flopping over one eye as he does so. “I guess… I grew into it. You remember I told you about Old Tom?”

Luffy and Usopp nod.

“Well, I’d loved designing stuff as a kid, you know, machines and shit. You want to build a ship from scratch, man you gotta know about _everything_. Civil, material, electrical engineering, hydrodynamics, there’s environmental stuff in there, marine biology, hell with the newer stuff you’ve gotta be a goddamn computer programmer as well.”

Usopp is still nodding, Luffy just looks blank.

“Tom pulled me off the dead-end path I was on, and taught me a good chunk of the basics. He gave me the tools to scratch that design itch, get my vision realised. I was all set to be the world’s greatest shipwright,” Franky smiles wistfully. “I was _so_ sure.”

“Well, you _are_ a damn good shipwright,” Usopp says.

Franky pulls a wry face. “I work for my brother’s company, maintaining and repairing other people’s boats. It’s good work. But not quite the same thing.”

“So what happened?” Luffy asks.

“The accident,” Franky explains simply. He gestures with his prosthetic arm, to his prosthetic leg. “Suddenly Tom was gone and Iceburg needed me.” Franky shrugs slightly. “Okay, and maybe I needed him a little. I started lending a hand at _Galley-La_ and I guess I just never left.”

Usopp’s looking at Franky like he wants to give him a hug, and Luffy is scuffing his shoes as he walks, nose wrinkled.

“Yeah, not much a life story, I know,” Franky says, with a slight laugh. “But I really do enjoy my job, Luffy, even though I kind of fell into it. Sometimes you just gotta evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.”

Luffy doesn’t reply. The spend the rest of the short walk to the café in silence.

 

* * *

 

When they get to the café, Robin has claimed a large table and is serenely sipping a cup of some exotic blend of tea. Chopper sits next to her, frowning in concentration over a medical textbook, a forgotten cup of hot chocolate in front of him.

Luffy’s enthusiasm returns when he spots Robin and Chopper; he hasn’t seen them _all week_. He bounds up to the table, ahead of the others. Franky waves, heading off to the counter to order them something to drink. Usopp follows at a more leisurely pace.

Robin smiles in welcome. Chopper doesn’t notice Luffy’s arrival, absorbed in his study. So Luffy sticks his grinning face between Chopper and the book, and Chopper rears back in surprise.

“Oh, Luffy! Hello,” the young boy says, surprised but happy to see his friend.

“Heya Chopper. Whatcha reading?” Luffy asks as he flops into a chair across from Robin.

“It’s just a mid-level anatomy textbook,” Chopper says, a little shyly, as he closes the book.

Usopp looks impressed as he takes the seat between Luffy and Chopper. “Mid-level as in mid- _university_ level? Wow, Chopper, you really are set to become the world’s youngest doctor.”

“Oh, I don’t-” Chopper blushes. “I mean, I don’t have to be the _youngest_. I still have to go through all the schooling and qualifications like everyone else. I just… want to be prepared.”

“I bet if you took the entry exam tomorrow, you’d pass,” Luffy says. Franky arrives bearing three bottles of cola, and deposits one each in front of Luffy and Usopp. “Thanks, Franky.”

Chopper wiggles in his seat, beaming from ear to ear. “Ahh, your faith in me doesn’t make me happy, asshole!”

Luffy grins at him.

“Anyway,” Chopper says, calming down a little and taking a sip of his now-lukewarm chocolate. “It doesn’t work like that. But school is interesting, you know, and Robin’s got a lot of interesting things for me to read.” Chopper smiles at Robin, who smiles fondly back. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“I would,” says Luffy. “If I wanted to be something that badly.”

“Luffy’s trying to figure out what he wants to do after high school,” Usopp explains to the rest of the group. “So he’s looking for inspiration.”

Franky makes a noise of sudden understanding.

“I’ve _always_ wanted to be a doctor,” Chopper says. “I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

“Because of that doctor who saved your life?” Usopp prompts.

Chopper nods vigorously. “Hiluluk showed me what it meant to be a doctor, to really help people. But also Doctor Kureha has taught me so much. They both inspire me so much.”

“Bro…” Franky sniffles slightly. Robin pats Franky’s back comfortingly.

“What about you Robin?” Chopper asks. “How did you know you wanted to be an archaeologist?”

Robin smiles. “My mother instilled her love of history in me from a very young age.”

“I’m sensing a theme,” Usopp says.

“None of this is helping,” Luffy says bluntly. “I don’t have a mother. Or an adoptive father. Or an actual father.”

Usopp facepalms.

“What I think Usopp means,” Robin says, clearly amused by the entire conversation, “is that sometimes we follow in the footsteps of those close to us, family or otherwise.”

“What about your grandfather, Luffy?” Chopper asks. “He’s in the Navy, you could join up too?”

Luffy pulls the most exaggeratedly horrified face he’s capable of. “ _Absolutely_ _not_.”

“Luffy in the Navy? God, can you imagine?” Usopp starts laughing. “It’d be even worse than that time Zeff hired him as a bus boy!”

Chopper, having previously been told about the whole disastrous affair, clamps both hands over his mouth in an attempt to stifle his giggles.

Luffy flicks his bottle cap at Usopp, dinging him on the nose.

“What about your brothers?” Franky interrupts hastily, not wanting things to escalate. Getting kicked out of the last café was embarrassing enough.

Luffy puffs out his cheeks in frustration. “Ace doesn’t _have_ a job, and I don’t even know where he _is_. And I’m not following Sabo into politics,” Luffy says with finality. “He’s already been arrested three times and he’s only been at uni for a couple of years.”

“Well, maybe you could go to university, and study something else?” Usopp asks, except his voice goes up two octaves by the end of the sentence, which doesn’t speak well of his confidence in Luffy.

“If you applied yourself, I’m sure you would do well,” Robin says. She _does_ actually sound sincere.

Luffy looks at Robin, suddenly sharp-eyed.

“You went to university because you’re clever,” he says.

“Well, thank you-”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

“What?”

“Being clever.”

Franky thumps Luffy on the back of the head. “Don’t be _rude_.”

Luffy rubs his head, his chin jutting out mulishly. “Robin’s not happy though,” he mutters.

There’s a short silence, then Robin exhales, a sigh.

“Academia isn’t what it once was,” she admits. “I enjoy my lectureship, and I’m quite lucky to be employed full time so early in my career, but it is predominately a teaching position. I confess I feel a little trapped. I want to _practice_ archaeology, but there is very little funding available both for my department and for someone at my level. In addition, I can only go on digs during semester break, which means I must write up my research during semester, but I also have a full teaching schedule.” Robin shakes her head. “I’m afraid that to all intents and purposes, no one will ever pay me to just be an archaeologist.”

“But… you _do_ get to do research, right?” Chopper asks in a small voice.

Robin pulls herself together, smooths the regret from her face. “Yes, I do. On the whole, it _is_ worthwhile.” She turns to Luffy. “University won’t suit everyone. Bear in mind that even if you are undecided now, you have time to try different things, and change your mind. There are multiple paths to reach your goal.”

“Yeah,” Luffy says. “Okay.”

But he doesn’t look happy.

 

* * *

 

Brook’s band has a standing gig every Saturday night at a local goth-themed bar, _The Graveyard_. Brook’s aesthetic, which goes for skulls and bones in a major way, suits the place to a T. Outfitted in black and purple décor, the dimly lit bar serves snacks on little tombstone plates and all the drinks have skull-shaped ice cubes in them.

“This place is so tacky,” Sanji complains as they arrive, like he does every Saturday. They’re all there except Chopper, because the one time they brought him Doctor Kureha tore them a collective new one, Franky, because he has a job early on Sunday, and Robin, because she had marking to do.

“Brook’s music is so good though,” Usopp says, his head already nodding along to the beat.

Because Brook’s friends with everybody, the manager turns a blind eye when the posse of mostly underage teens shows up to watch Brook play, as long as Nami, Usopp, and Luffy don’t drink. Sanji usually sticks to virgin cocktails out of solidarity – though Zoro inevitably makes some sort of comment – and Zoro more often than not forgets his ID – which generally draws taunting from Sanji.

So they’re all clustered around a bar table, sharing a pitcher of orange juice, which Sanji insists on referring to as a virgin mimosa, “Like a bunch of losers,” as Usopp cheerfully remarks.

No one cares, though, as Brook’s upbeat tunes thread through the place. The bar slowly fills up, the audience paying more attention to the live entertainment than they usually would. Brook’s added several new songs to his repertoire, working on a jazz-techno fusion that invites both silent appreciation and the wild limb flailing Luffy calls dancing.

Brook and the band take a break for happy hour, and, having spotted his young friends in the crowd, Brook soon joins them, a broad grin on his face.

“Brook! That was amazing!” Usopp enthuses.

“Thanks man,” Brook says. “I’ve been working on some new stuff, and I can feel in my bones that it’s just _right_ , you know?”

“You’re a genius, Brook,” Nami says. “I’d buy, like, all of your albums, and you know how much I hate spending money.”

“If I ever get a record deal, you can have the very first copy of my very first album, _gratis_ ,” Brook promises.

“See Luffy,” Sanji says, “Brook’s still working towards his dream. Sometimes it just takes a while to get there.”

Brook laughs, a full-bellied sound that should not come from such a skinny man. “Having problems, Luffy?

“How’d you know to be a musician, Brook?” Luffy asks.

“It’s just there, in my soul.” Brook rests a fist against his midsection. “And I gotta follow that feeling, ‘cause if I don’t, I may as well be a dead man walking.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Luffy pumps his fist in the air. “But every time I ask someone, they tell me they’re going to do boring stuff instead of the stuff they really _want_ to do.”

Zoro nods morosely, and gently shoulder bumps Luffy in solidarity.

Brook grins toothily. “I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise, my dude. The real world does not treat the dreamer well.”

“That’s what I said!” Usopp puts in. “I don’t want to be a starving artist. Emphasis on _starving_.”

“If you marry Kaya you won’t starve,” Nami says, waggling her eyebrows.

Usopp blushes pink, right to the tip of his nose. “We’re just friends…” he mutters, suddenly very interested in his glass of orange juice.

“Luffy,” Brook says, clapping the boy on the back, “I’m probably never going to get a record deal, or become an international artist.” There’s a sudden clamouring of denial from everyone else, but Brook waves aside their protestations. “And I’m fine with that. Even if I don’t get there, at least I reached for it. At least I can do what I love most days, and share my music with some people. That’s all you can ask for from this life, my boy, and that’s all most people get.”

“I don’t want this life,” Luffy says stubbornly. “I want a different one.”

“Hey, man, I get it.” Brook shrugs. “Sometimes I wish I could live forever.”

 

* * *

 

Everyone’s busy the next day, so Luffy spends a morose Sunday morning by himself causing havoc with an old skateboard Ace left behind, and trying not to think too much.

Late in the afternoon Luffy, who doesn’t understand the concept of ‘alone time’, accidently-on-purpose runs into Zoro coming out the dojo. It doesn’t take much persuading to convince Zoro to come hang out with him, both teens looking for an excuse to avoid their impending responsibilities for the coming Monday.

They spend a peaceful couple of hours wandering around town, watching the sun set. The soft orange light casts longer and longer shadows, and right now Zoro is absolutely Luffy’s favourite because they manage to pass the time without a single difficult question, heartfelt conversation, or any self-reflection at all.

By the time darkness falls, Zoro and Luffy have no idea where they are. Neither is particularly concerned. It’s kind of nostalgic – when they were younger they used to go wandering like this all the time, and then get lost, and it was only Zoro’s fault fifty percent of the time.

They end up in the mostly empty parking lot at the back of a 7-Eleven, the only open business in a street of dark and locked office buildings. Sitting on the curb with the dumpsters less than a metre behind them, Zoro and Luffy share a beer Zoro nicked from Koshiro’s fridge. A nearby street lamp throws harsh shadows across the empty expanse of concrete in front of them.

They sit in companionable silence for a while, but this _thing_ has been building all weekend and Luffy gets progressively more twitchy. Finally he gives in to his frustration, inhales sharply through his nose, and begins ranting.

“I don’t like their answers. How is this freedom, huh, Zoro? It’s stupid, to create our own chains and call them _sensible._ Nami doesn’t want to be an _accountant_ , she wants to stand in the eyes of hurricanes, discover new worlds and map them. Usopp wants to go on real adventures, not just the ones in make believe stories and video games. No one’s going to take Chopper seriously for _years_ , and Robin deserves to do what she loves for more than just a few weeks in the summer. Sanji’s cooking shouldn’t be ‘best in town’, it should be _world famous_. Franky should build his _own_ ships. The only time Brook comes alive is when he plays, he needs a bigger stage, he needs the _world_ for his audience. This is our life, right? It’s ending, one minute at a time, and Nami’s gonna be an _accountant._ ”

Luffy takes a deep breath. “And I still don’t know what I want to _do_!” he whines, and flops dramatically backwards onto the pavement.

Zoro shrugs. “Maybe your real calling in life is to bring people together, as a ~ _family_ ~.” There is a heavy amount of sarcasm in this statement.

“Shut up.”

Zoro hides a grin in his beer, and they lapse into silence. Luffy stares at the stars, Zoro stares ahead into the night.

“Hey Zoro,” Luffy says, sitting up suddenly.

Zoro lifts an eyebrow in acknowledgement.

“Stand up,” Luffy says, standing up himself.

Zoro frowns quizzically, but stands up, placing the half empty beer bottle on the curb as he does so. Luffy pulls Zoro around to face him.

“I want you to do me a favour.”

“What?”

“Hit me.”

Zoro rolls his eyes. “Luffy, come on, I wasn’t really serious.”

“I know, but… Look, I’m not stupid. I know life isn’t like an anime. But _right now_ , I don’t have to be boring or sensible or know what I want to do with the rest of my life.” Luffy vibrates in place, frustration and anticipation drawing the lines of his body. “And fuck it, no one’s watching. So, just- punch me.”

Zoro looks at Luffy with slight wonderment. “I don’t know,” he says eventually. “This is kind of crazy.”

“Alright, go crazy,” Luffy says, a little bit of madness in his eyes. “At least it’s not _sensible_ , right?”

“I mean- where?” Zoro balls up one hand into a fist and sort of waves it in the air, still looking doubtful.

“I don’t know,” Luffy waves his hands about. “Surprise me?”

They stare at each other for a few seconds. Something grows in Zoro’s face, something that causes Luffy’s jittering to still, erasing the tension and just leaving anticipation behind. Slowly, Luffy grins.

“This is such a stupid idea,” Zoro says, but it lacks conviction.

“How much can you really know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?” Luffy counters. “I don't want to die without any scars.”

Well, obviously, neither does Zoro.

Luffy watches with delight as an answering grin spreads across Zoro’s face, as Luffy’s terrible, stupid, destructive enthusiasm infects him, like always.

“Hey Zoro,” Luffy says, voice filled with laughter. “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve managed to shoehorn at least eight fight club quotes into this thing.  
> Guess who's job hunting~


End file.
